No Poker Without Representation! - Why Eastern Europe is Destroying Poker

Bulgarians, Slovenians and Polski's are many on what used to be the fishiest poker sites of the world. They prefer the sites with high rakeback to allow for their 'grinder' mentality where 10 hours a day of $5/hour is perfect melon for their juice. However it's not perfect melon for the game like it used to be. In the past they used to be so tight that a typical TAG could beat them easily just by stealing and the fish didn't find them annoying - probably barely noticed their presence. Now, however, the Bulgarians can play and that poses a unique problem.

In the past part of the reason everyone loved the Eastern European guys is that simply they always had a hand. No semi-bluffs and certainly no 3-betting light preflop. Now they play an aggressive game. Their grinder mentality on many tables doesn't lead to playing pots with fish it leads to lots of aggression regardless - better to 3-bet and get that night's dinner paid for (yeah a Polski can eat for a 3x raise at $25NL!!) than to play a pot at the same time as 10 other tables.

The problem here is not only is the edge in games reduced to the point where Westerners have little incentive to play the microstakes and building a bankroll is like getting ridden by a goat if you compare it to the riding a hot 18 year old chick of years gone by. On top of that the fish leave the tables pretty quickly when there's a lot of aggression. Especially if their favourite situation is ruined. They love to limp in and call a raise then play the flop. If that raise is then reisolated they leave the table pretty quickly. The Bulgski's and Polski's immediately break the table and we're back to square one.

My solution is simple - if your country doesn't produce more poker fish than you provide winning players then you simply shouldn't be allowed to contribute. I used to think the French had it wrong with their isolationist system but I tell ya - imagine playing TAXED in France or playing with a bunch of nits who will keep adding themselves into the ecosystem until the income from the game is $3/hr or less (because with rakeback that's a living to these guys). I choose playing my French Fish if I'm a Frenchman for sure.

This is a tongue in cheek shock-jock style piece not anything more serious. If you don't have a sense of humour and are offended then you need to try being a Western European. We're sat on First Class Trains after our real jobs not caring about the hundo we chucked yesterday at the tables. You'd be wondering which one of your sisters was the most valuable or the most useful with plough!